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I’m in a wonderful relationship, with a fantastic guy, we’ve been together nearly 3 years, living together for the last year, and life is excellent. My only issue is present buying, we are buying each other things all the time, if we see something the other will like we’ll get it, we both have good jobs and a disposable income. But, I think birthdays should just a token thing and making a nice day of things, my partner feels it’s important to shower me with gifts. We had a discussion about it last year, my birthday is a couple of days after his, and we decided that we’d do a joint event to celebrate and booked a cabin in the mountains for a couple of weeks, the first week would be just us and the second we’d invite friends up to celebrate our birthdays and kick back together. To me that was a great gift to give each other, however he went and bought a load of presents for me on top. This made me feel as though I’d not done enough for him. He put me at ease, but I could tell he was hurt that I didn’t reciprocate, and a few mutual friends commented on it.
We’re a couple of months off doing the cabin again this year, everyone enjoyed it last time and we thought we’d make it a regular event. Again we’ve agreed not to do presents, and keep it to booking the cabin and having a romantic time. However, this weekend while I was clearing out the garage I found a stash of presents hidden in the back of the jeep we use for the summer, he’s obviously stock piling for me again. I’m touched that he’s doing it, but don’t want to go down the raft of feelings I did last year. What should I do?
Some people like to buy gifts, and some people like to receive them. Ultimately this isn’t some life threatening issue, it sounds as though you have the funds and live a good life style. Enjoy the moment get him a handful of presents, you don’t have to buy out Tiffany, just a couple of hours down the Mall, a nice main gift and a few fripperies, perhaps get some outdoorsy things that you can use while at the cabin.
It would seem silly to great anxiety and stress for yourself over a small thing.